Eden Dares to Tackle a Motherhood Journey that Not Everyone Talks About
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| #EdenSpeaksPH |
Motherhood is such an amazing experience one can go through in a lifetime. But does it always start "amazing"? No, especially when you did not expect to be a Mom -- as in my case.
I got pregnant at 27 with a partner for 2.5 years. But even though I was at the right age, have a stable job and savings, it still didn't feel right to bear a child all because I wasn't married. I was an achiever during school days. My family and relatives have always been proud of me -- the type that they humble-brag to their amigas. But when I got pregnant, I instantly felt I fail at life for not taking the "normal path" of getting married first before having a baby. That whatever remarkable things I did in the past, they were all disregarded because of the mistake I did. Admit it or not, there is this stigma.
In a Mother's Day Forum called Eden Speaks, host Issa Litton delved into the different shapes, forms, and flavors of Motherhood which not everyone talks about. Celebrity guest speaker Bettinna Carlos-Eduardo bravely shared her experience getting pregnant by someone not her boyfriend, and how she dealt being a single mother for over a decade. Valuable inputs on how to go through these situations were shared by Techie Dy who is a Consultant of RMT-Cefam, Ateneo, and is a PhD Candidate of Clinical Psychology from the University of the Philippines. Kristine Enriquez, Eden Cheese Marketing Manager, also joined the discussion as to why Eden initiated this campaign.
You can find the very interactive and emotional forum below:
Shortly after my son turned 3, my partner and I finally went for the long overdue breakup. We initially tried to keep the relationship for our son but decided to not force it anymore and go on our own ways. He was still providing financial support but the challenges of being a single parent go farther than just money-related issues:
- Juggling work, chores, and family on your own - Every working mom can relate to this, more if you cannot depend on anyone else for income source. Time management is crucial to be able to fulfill the roles of a mother and a father, to ensure that household chores are taken care of, and to have enough budget to keep things running
- Decision making is done alone - Whether deciding about home improvements, business/sideline to take, or where to enroll your child, there's no deeply involved person to brainstorm ideas with other than yourself
- Lack of Emotional Support - You may have friends or family to talk to, but having someone to share the joys and challenges of building a family, and having that emotional support are greatly needed
These are just some of the things a Single Mom experiences but are seldom talked about. Often, single moms are looked at with a raised eyebrow -- a disgrace, someone who got pregnant at a young age. But this is an old thinking. There are various reasons why a woman ended up being a solo parent. More than looking why it happened and judging the person, we should be focusing more on how is she keeping up. Digging into that will reveal a mother's unconditional love that enables her to be strong, to endure, to provide, and to give all her heart for her family. Motherhood is already challenging. Let's not make it harder for moms, but instead, show support through words and actions.
I'll end this post with Eden's Mother's Day video beautifully crafted by Carlos Palanca-Awardee Antoinette Jadaone touching a motherhood journey that is not usually openly discussed. This video hit a spot in my heart as more than 7 years ago, I was in that position.
