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I Never Wished You A Broken Family

I Never Wished You a Broken Family 

Your father and I's relationship didn't start out right. Yes, we used to be good friends for years before finally making things official. The sweet and carefree stage lasted for a month or so, after that we're in constant argument. Petty things, unmet expectations, attitude problems. Our first BF-GF anniversary was not an exception. Several times we were on the verge of giving up, but I guess we never got the courage to do so. Until before our third anniversary, you came... unplanned, unexpected, but we welcomed you with all our hearts.

With our previous situation, marriage was not an option. I admit I was hurt as like other people, I dreamed of getting married and having a happy family. Even without future plans, we decided to stay together, be a family with you. We lived for the present. I was too occupied with this new phase called motherhood to think about our future. But after two years of having you in this world, still no direction, your father undecided on what to do with his life, I finally took the courage to break up with him... so I no longer have to depend on him, so I don't have to wait for him on when he'd be ready to take a leap with us.

I knew it was the right thing to do but I was torn knowing you'll grow up without a father. So, weird it may seem, I allowed your father to stay with us. We seldom argued since then. Either we have matured or just cared less. For another year, I let him be a father to you, take care of you, play with you. Hoping, at the back of my head, that something good would come out of it. I admit, having a co-parent helped. But then after your third birthday, your father decided to leave and pursue someone else. And that's the end of it.

Even though it was right for him to leave since we were no longer in a relationship for a year, it still hurt knowing my dream of happy and complete family would no longer be possible. That you'd grow up without a father figure, nor a father by your side.

I dreamed of a simple family with a mommy, a daddy, and children in it, like the one I grew up with. I tried my best to keep it, but some things are out of my hands... and that's how life is. I still encourage you to dream of a happy family someday. Be the best father you can be and keep your family intact. But if situations are not in your favor, don't worry. Look at your mom, we survived, right? And we're happy we got each other's back!