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On New Born Relationships

On New Born Relationships 

this relationship is still quite young, but has a lot of room for improvement. sharing some thoughts on this...

I have a boyfriend and we've been together for more than 5 months now, but we've been actually close friends for more than 3 years. I thought that things would be easy for us since we had good foundation as friends. But what I missed is that there is a big difference between close friends and being in a relationship.

For close friends, you may just be connected at one point or aspect of life. No commitment, no promises, no expectations, no need to strive to conquer indifference. It is just about sharing, listening, camaraderie, and acceptance. But being in a relationship is different. Well, the definition is really subjective on how both parties agree. For us, we are two different individuals. We think differently, we see things in different perspective, we don't have the same wavelength. He is not the type who can read my mind, nor would know how to respond based on my reactions or body language. Nothing is automatic or instant; every response needs to be explained to prevent misunderstanding. I think he has the same feeling as I am as most of the time, he also misunderstands my words and actions. As a result, it is additional effort on both sides for compromise sake.

Even in attitude, we differ. He is a competitive type, while I prefer to give way and work on my own. He likes harvesting glory, but I admire humility. I talk bluntly, but he is used to keeping things to himself. Public vs private, extrovert vs introvert, emotional vs logical. Quite obvious why we always end up in a heated argument. But good thing about us, after we have calmed down, we always take the chance to talk things out and we never let things be left unresolved. I guess our differences also help us in moving on. He never gives up on me, while I always think it's the end of "us". When it's his turn for self-torture, I try my best to wait 'til he gets back to himself.

Indeed there are a lot of hurtful words and painful actions in the short stint of time. Great thing he has the talent in recovering easily, while I'm the "amnesia" type who easily forgets specific things and events once resolved. Oh how I'm deeply in-loved with this guy! But love alone is not enough. I am aware I have attitude problems and he may have too, but it is not easy to change (or if we ever wanted to change). I'm not sure how much we can bare, but I want to take things slowly and one at a time. I just hope we'll still be there for each other.

"The happiest couples never have the same character. They have the best understanding of their differences."